COUNSELOR’S CORNER with Ms. Patty:

Building Resilience When Your Child is Anxious

Anxiety is a common emotion that all children experience at different times but if anxiety persists it can interfere with your child’s ability to make friends or engage in school.  Anxiety is one of the most common mental health concerns in children and it’s symptoms can be physical; headaches, stomachaches, sleeping troubles and emotional; fear, worry and irritability.

Often, with good intentions, people encourage children to ignore their anxiety, push it aside and carry on.  Adults say things like, “Don’t worry about that.” or “That’s not possible, why worry?”  This can, at times, lead children to unhealthy strategies for coping.  So how can we help honor our children’s anxious feelings yet encourage resilience to manage them?  Here are a few strategies.

• Personify the emotion by giving it a name and a persona.  In doing this, your child can talk with that piece of themselves and learn that anxiety is just a characteristic of themselves, not all of who they are.  
• Help your child assess risk.  Often anxiety overrules the brain and it is difficult for your child to properly assess the threat.  Ask your child to write out the worst and best outcome for the anxiety producing issue.  This will help your child better assess the real probability of their feared outcome.
• Reframe thoughts: Help your child change the narrative from what is wrong with me to a celebration of self.  Instead of “I overthink too much,” encourage statements such as “I’m creative and have many ideas.”
• Mindfulness:  Encourage your child to notice their thoughts.  Thoughts are just that and don’t have to be accepted as true.  We can allow some thoughts to pass through our minds and be released.

Anxiety is normal and should be allowed to be expressed.  In using the above strategies, you support your child to manage this emotion and build resilience.

Ms. Patty, the elementary counselor, is available to support ISY students and families.  If you are concerned about your child’s social, emotional or academic progress, please feel free to contact her at escounselor@isyedu.org. If you are interested in reading more: 7 Ways to Help with Anxiety.

Patty Amundson-Geisel

Pre-K to Grade 6 Counselor