Resilience: A Life Skill

Resilience is the ability to bounce back or adapt when things don’t go the way we hoped.  In unprecedented times, such as these, certainly there are many things that aren’t going as we had once planned or expected.  Fortunately, resilience is a skill we can nurture in ourselves and teach to our children.

Resilience has three important elements, control, challenge and commitment.  A resilient person focuses on aspects that they can control.  We may not be able to control this pandemic but we can control our attitude in addressing it.  Challenge: resilient people see obstacles as challenges for growth not affirmations of inability.  They are not paralzed by failure but are energized, enabling them to overcome whatever barriers hinder their success.  Finally resilient people are committed.  They set goals and plan.  They dedicate time and energy to all areas of their life, work, family and social connections.

So how can we nurture these qualities and skills in our children?

Control: Provide opportunities for your child to risk.  Allow them to try new things.  As parents, sometimes we want to protect our kids by ensuring their success.  Although well intentioned, often this doesn’t allow our children to develop independent skills.  Skills that enable them to identify what aspects of the task were in their control and what areas were beyond them.  

Challenge: Let your child see you fail. Highlight your everyday mistakes.  Demonstrate to them how these mini “failures” are opportunities for you to grow and learn.  Failure isn’t the end, it’s only the beginning.

Commitment:  Demonstrate to your children your personal goals and how you achieve them.  It might be your daily exercise, sleep routine or healthy eating habits.  Demonstrating a hard working, dedicated attitude provides an example that can influence them for years to come.

Resilient individuals have a positive attitude toward the future, they tend to achieve more goals, they have better control over their emotional reactions, they maintain healthy relationships and they express empathy and compassion. 

If you have any questions or concerns, regarding this or other topics, please feel free to contact me, Ms. Patty at escousnelor@isyedu.org.  I am happy to connect over email or in an online chat.

Helpful Links:

https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/resilience

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/resilience.htm

https://www.psycom.net/build-resilience-children